Only 7.4..ermmm alahai..

This week rasanya minggu tak sihat sekeluarga. starting from last week zikri dan wazien demam. as usual zikri selalu teruk kalu demam. Kesian sangat2 tengok zikri. 3 hari zikri tak lalu nak makan. seminggu jugak zikri didn't go to school. Ms Goh called babah. She worried about you. Sekarang ni pun still tak berapa sihat lagi. however zikri has continued his school (even doctor still not allowed u to school). Alhamdulillah tahap kesihatan semakin baik walaupun masih tak fully ok.

Wazien dah nak masuk 11 bulan pun tinggal beberapa hari lagi. tapi 6th month imunitation still tak ambil lagi. Doktor pesan ambil untuk umur setahun je nanti but jgn tinggal setahun setengah punya imunisasi. Insyaallah ..kalau mama tak kaput.huhuhu
Masa bawa wazien dan zikri ke klinik last time, sempat juga timbang wazien. huh..baru 7.4 kg sajer anak mama nih. however still above yellow line lagi. Mama tak risau pun tentang berat wazien sebab mama tau bf baby memang la tak berat. tak macam babies yang amik fm. Yang penting anak mama cergas!!

Back about zikri's school..Aiyakk..seems like starting new school pulak. tiap2 hari nangis. last 2 weeks zikri cuma nangis for 2 days jer..it's oklah..janji after mama leave for work zikri dah ok and still wishing for school tommorow. means u like school very much kan..:)

Are your children reliant on you to help solve their problems? Share

Parenting Solutions to Raise Self-Reliant Kids

Of course we don’t want our kids to fail and of course we always want them to be successful, but always doing, picking up, or mending fences for our kids sure won’t help them learn to bounce back and survive on their own. Look down the road at the big picture. If you keep on with any hovering behavior now, how will your kids turn out later? Every once in a while, fast forward your parenting and think ahead. It just may help you alter you current response with your kids.

One more hint: researchers are seeing this phenomenon of “parental hovering” as more than just a trend—it’s here to stay. I see a huge red flag in the behavior: keep the hovering and you rob the child of an essential trait for L.I.F.E. called self-reliance! Watch out—you may not be aware that you’re guilty of that behavior. The key is to keep in mind it’s never really one event that influences our children (the one lecture, the one family vacation, even the one mommy meltdown) but the consistent way we respond to our kids day after day after day. So if you’re always rescuing, stepping in, helping out, advising, suggesting or doing, think how those responses impact your child.

Here are a few parenting practices from my latest book The Big Book of Parenting Solutions that you may want to adopt in your day-to-day family life to help your kids become more resourceful and self-reliant.

1. Identify what your child can do alone and then back off. What tasks might your child be capable of doing instead of relying on you? Maybe it’s time for him to learn to make his own lunch, do laundry, make his bed, call to make his dentist’s appointments, Of course, this will depend on your child’s age, maturation, and current capabilities. The goal here isn’t to overwhelm him by piling on new your expectations, but gradually introduce one new task at a time.

2. Stop rescuing. Have you found yourself rescuing your kids a lot lately? “My son is so tired, I’ll do his homework tonight.” “My daughter is too busy, I’ll do her chores this time.” It’s an easy habit to get into, but if you want to raise a resilient kid, these are major mother “no-nos.” Start by setting this rule: “We have a new policy: No more excuses. You need to take responsibility.”

3. Boost organizational skills so your child won’t use you as his palm pilot. Is your child misplacing library books? Can’t find his sports gear? Losing teacher notes? Chances are your child’s lack of organization is a big reason why you end up rescuing her. So when there’s another trauma, ask instead: “What can you do to solve it?” For instance, if your child forgets to return his library book every Wednesday, he might hang a calendar to his due date as well as music lessons, field trips, sharing days, tests. Even little ones can draw “picture” reminders. Learning organizing is a skill your child will need for managing his own life so he relies less and less on you as time goes by.

4. Teach Brainstorming So Your Child Can Solve Problems Without you. The next time your child has a problem, don’t be so quick to offer a solution. Instead, teach him how to brainstorm options. First, say to your child: “Tell me what’s bothering you.” (You might need to help him find the words: “I can’t think of anything to bring for sharing.”) Express your faith that he can work things out: “I know you’ll come up with a solution for your sharing.” Then encourage him to brainstorm ideas. “Don’t worry how silly your idea sounds. Just say it, because it may help your think of things to share.” You might even call it “The Solution Game;” just remind your child to use it whenever he encounters a problem. With enough practice, your child will be able to use brainstorming to solve many troubling issues that creep up during the day without your help.

5. Teach How To Negotiate. Do your children constantly expect you to be the negotiator and solve their battles? Wrong move if you want your kids to be able to solve their own battles. Your new tactic: Teach your kids how to negotiate so when the next war breaks out you can tell your darling cherubs to work it out on their own. Here’s how. First, explain the new skill: “You need to learn to negotiate. That’s when you agree to work out a deal so you’re both are happy.” Next, teach your kids a few old but good ‘deal breakers’ such as “rock, paper, scissors”, drawing straws, flipping a coin, or the rule: “Who went first last time, goes last this time.” Oven timers are also great for reducing squabbles. Just show your kids how to set it, and it can be a great sanity saver. “I’m setting the timer for five minutes, but when it goes off it’s my turn to play.” And finally: Don’t forget to set clear ‘negotiation behavior’: “You must take turns listening to each other without interrupting, and no put-downs. Only calm voices are allowed.” Then start practicing using the skill as a family. Not only will it help your child learn a skill I guarantee he’ll need in every arena of life, but you may also discover greater peace on the home front.

6. Talk About Their Future Regularly. Encourage your kids to think beyond the here and now: going away to camp, changing schools, college, living in an apartment, career choices. Discussing your children’s lives in the future can be part of your dinner table conversations. Sure they can change their minds (and majors), but the goal is to help your child think towards the future and realize someday he really won’t be living with you.

This article is excerpted from Michele Borba’s book, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries

Create the right environment for your children

If a child lives with criticism,
She learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility,
He learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule,
She learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame,
He learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with tolerance,
She learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement,
He learns confidence.
If a child lives with praise,
She learns to appreciate.
If a child lives with fairness,
He learns justice.
If a child lives with security,
She learns to have faith.
If a child lives with approval,
He learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
She learns to find love in the world.

Nama ALLAH - mengapa jadi rebutan

Sekarang ni orang dok kecoh dengan isu penggunaan nama Allah oleh penganut2 kristian. Isu yang sepatutnya bagi mama taklah besar mana sangat pun tetapi dah diberatkan oleh segelintir manusia (orang islamkah itu?) yang membuat onar terhadap gereja2 di serata negara. Tiba2 pulak mama rasa bimbang dengan keadaan semasa nih. Mana taknyer..mama sekolahkan zikri di superkids..sekolah yang menggunakan bahasa pengantar mandarin dan bahasa inggeris sebagai pembelajaran di sekolah yang dipelopori oleh kaum2 cina beragama kristian! Risau jugak kalau terjadi apa2 yang tidak diingini di sekolah tu.

kenapa mama hantar zikri di superkids sedangkan aura mama hantar belajar di An Najaah?..nanti akan mama ulaskan dlm next post..anak2 mama wajib tau nih..bukan saja2 mama letak kamu berdua di sekolah yang berasingan..

Tentang isu penggunaan nama Allah...pendapat peribadi mama kuat mengatakan..apa salahnyer diorang nak guna nama tuhan diorang Allah? Dalam surah Al-Ikhlas ayat kedua bermaksud "Allah yang menjadi tumpuan sekelian makhluk untuk memohon sebarang hajat"..ayat ini dah terang bahawa Allah itu satu untuk seluruh makhluk termasuk penganut-penganut agama lain. Jadi tak perlulah bergaduh2 hanya kerana sememangnya kita berkongsi tuhan (ya...kita jelas Allah itu satu - tak macam agama lain yang ada byk tuhan).

Apa yang menjadi isu utk larangan ini sebenarnya takut akan mengelirukan orang islam. mmmm..keliru? apa yang nak dikelirukan..baru2 ni mama ada terima email..kat gereja ada tulis besar2..Allah itu kasih..Anak2 ku..jgn keliru..sebab Allah kita Maha Pengasih

Cuma pendapat peribadi..

dah lama tulis tapi...

Schooling

Minggu ni dah masuk minggu kedua persekolahan tahun 2010..tahun ni aura dah tahun ke 3 sekolah tadika..tahun2 lepas mama memang tak berapa amik kisah tentang pelajaran aura. mama biar je. let you enjoy yourself. mama tak letakkan sasaran apa2 tentang sekolah aura sebab mama tau this is your play time lagi. let you develop while playing. mama tak mau paksa2. however mama still kagum ngan aura..walaupun aura banyak main tapi aura tetap perform kat sekolah. mid yr exam last year aura dpt no 2 dlm kelas. komen cikgu tentang aura pun sangat positif.. kalau aura lama tak datang sekolah cikgu mesti rindu. Baru2 ni mama sempat bertembung dengan cikgu aura masa 4 tahun dulu.. cikgu yani - aura selalu panggil ibu yani. cikgu yani nampak sangat rindukan aura (ye lah..sekolah aura dah pndah ke bangunan sekolah rendah..lama tak jumpa kot) cikgu yani jumpa aura terus peluk aura..begitu sekali sayangnya cikgu yani pada aura..syukur alhamdulillah..

hari ni pulak..zikri dah 3 hari ke sekolah..first day babah kene tunggu sampai habis kelas..zikri sungguh seronok..hari kedua..mama hantar zikri sampai kelas, then mama tinggal jer. zikri menangis ..satu hall dengar...hahaha . hari ketiga nih mama hantar kejap jer, then mama tinggal lagi..zikri izinkan mama pergi kerja. happy sungguh mama..masa ambil balik pun zikri nampak ceria. sabar tunggu mama ambil zikri.
tadi..zikri pesan pada mama..'esok mama pergi kerja, tinggal zikri di sekolah tau!'...hehe..teruja sungguh mama..such a good boy!!

belajar rajin2 yer sayang2 mama...

Breastfeeding

malam ni mama terbaca kisah kawan mama yg tgh bersedih sbb tak dpt support utk bf..kesian..mmg sgt kesian. mama juga turut tersentuh hati membaca kisah dia.
sungguh..nak bf anak mama ni memang menuntut pengorbanan yang sangat besar. bukan masalah duit...yang paling penting mengawal emosi.

mama pernah ditegur..walaupun mama tengah bermasalah mama tetap nampak ceria..betul tu. tapi siapa tahu sementara mama nak perbetulkan emosi mama yang tengah bermasalah tu dalam hati mama menjerit menangis. Mama usaha sebaik mungkin untuk sentiasa nampak ceria. bersembang dengan kawan2, cuba alihkan tumpuan untuk fokus pada kerja ataupun bila mama dah mati kutu mama bukak laman sosial fesbuk. dan yang paling penting minum air banyak2. Kadang- kadang mama sendiri tak tau berapa liter air mama minum. Alhamdulillah ..resah hati mama akan berkurangan.

Mama tak letakkan sasaran terus 2 tahun untuk bf wazien...semuanya mama serah kepada Allah kerana rezeki ini datang dariNya. Tapi mama tetap akan terus berusaha sedaya mampu mama. Alhamdulillah stage pertama penyusuan yang mama target untuk bf selama 7 bulan (mama guna benchmark aura) tercapai tanpa sebarang makanan tambahan kecuali air kurma. Sasaran kedua mama sampai umur setahun pulak..sekarang ni wazien dah nak masuk 10 bulan.

stage kedua ni lebih mencabar dari stage pertama. Dalam stage ni mama dah mula meninggalkan wazien. wazien pun dah mula makan solid food. jadi milkflow mama dah semakin berkurangan. dlm stage ni mama mula rasa stress pasal susu tambah lagi kalau stress pasal hal2 lain, lagilah susu semakin kurang. pernah juga bila terlalu tension mama balik dengan tangan kosong..masa tu memang sangat2 sedih. sedih tak berusaha untuk rezeki wazien. tapi mama tak saat2 begitu mama takboleh memaksa diri. kalau tidak..mama akan jadi semakin stress!!

Dalam stage kedua ni jugak mama dah tertewas..mama terpaksa bagi fm sikit sebagai tambahan. setakat ni satu tin kecik susu mama dah buka..mama harap itulah yang pertama dan terakhir sampai habis target mama nih dan sampai bila2 kalau boleh. Actually mama tak ambik pot pun apa jadi pada setin susu tu.

Aisehhh..tak lama lagi mama kene tinggalkan wazien lagi. kali ni seminggu pulak..mama dah mula risau. stok ebm tak cukup lagi nih. nampaknyer mama kene lebihkan usaha. Mama harap Allah akan permudahkan rezeki kita...ameenn..